Who We Are.

Differences Not Disabilities - All the ADHD and Autism Support you need

What have we actually been doing?

In the last year, we have phoned the anti-terrorism police, walked into people injecting heroin in the toilets and stood outside in the freezing cold all winter long. On the other hand, we’ve also won awards, run parent training courses, events, consulted with our local MP and made great progress in getting nationally accredited in our training.

Our work has taken us up and down the country, pitching up in markets in Kent, Essex, London and anywhere that will have us! Hundreds of people have talked to us, bought from us and told their stories. It is clear that there is an overwhelming need for support in the south of England, and from what we can see, the UK as a whole.

What do we do?

Day to day, we stand in the street and talk to people, about real life. Yes, we sell toys, resources and training but our advice in the street is free. Anyone with business sense has told us, stop giving out free information. And we would, if every time we did it, it wasn’t vitally important.

Whatever your personal politics may be, it is clear that families are not being supported as much as is needed. We know when we set up each day, that it is more than likely that someone will say “I’m at breaking point”. And the ones that don’t say it, show it in other ways. There are tears of frustration and anger. One mum in the street (just doing her daily shopping) shouted “I F****ng hate Autism” as her child stomped their feet that they wanted to go to Poundland. We have had so many suicide prevention conversations that we have had to upskill ourselves repeatedly to ensure that we were at the forefront of the latest knowledge.

I tried to list everything inappropriate that has been said, the list would never end. From “Autism isn’t real” to “I just smack them when they do that” and even the innocent “what toys have you got for autism?”. We support, we listen, and we don’t judge. All of us have flaws and real life isn’t perfect. It is easy to heckle from the sidelines and say how people should improve themselves but that is not life. People say things they don’t mean, and they are not their best selves all the time. If someone is swearing, or shouting, or being abusive, well… we don’t know their story, or their day. So, we support, and we listen. our training, the phrase “don’t fix just listen” comes up. Ever had a solution for someone and they weren’t ready to hear it? Some people just need to vent and that’s ok. Others are just doing their shopping and don’t need someone talking about proprioception in the street. Others though, come asking for help.

Hundreds of people have done exactly that, forming queues and wanting to know the solutions to their problems. It is not our job to have all the answers, and we signpost to others who are better suited in some areas (IPSEA!) but challenging behaviour, that’s us. The absolutely gutting thing is, it’s basic information that isn’t being shared. Schedules, visuals, resources, de-escalation techniques. Person centred care that would genuinely improve the life of the family and the individual. It would also lessen the impact on social services and the NHS.

Basic resources, and basic information is not being shared, so misinformation is rife. Most parents still believe that only a school can apply for an EHCP and 80% of people we talk to have not heard of Right To Choose, although that figure is changing.

This sounds very critical of parents, but it’s not. Parents are not being supported by schools and unlawful practices are still taking place. Children who have been on part time-timetables for 4 years without review or an EHCP, or who get sent home for behaviour without being suspended (backdoor exclusion).

One parent was asked, “What needs to change in the UK SEND system?” and their answer was simple “If the councils could follow the law, that would be enough”.

Even people who know us, do not fully understand what our day to day looks like. Our days can be meeting with council or government officials or having to phone the police at a market, often on the same day. Making toys and jokes one moment and being asked by a parent whether should put their child into care the next.

So, what do we do?

Help. Support. Listen. We give practical help, real life examples, and when a parent says, “Can you show me?”, we do. Differences Not Disabilities is a company that prides itself on leading by example, and from showing people by practicing what we preach.

If you got to the end of this, well done, this is our first ever blog, and no doubt in the future there will be many better but what we want to do is take this moment to say thank you to everyone. To any who have ever liked a post, bought a toy, asked for help, or listened to us when we talked too much! It has meant the world to us, and we cannot wait to support any who want it.

Read our latest blog on Parent Blaming.

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